To 40 from 30, peaceful and calm(er)

Dear 40,

I can't believe it but somehow 30 has managed to find me. 

But my face is still freckled and I'm often asked to prove that I've been alive for at least 18 years, so I guess this rite of passage has been as minimally traumatising as possible.

Since I reached out to 37 three years ago, I've managed to lock down my life partner and he's more than I could have ever hoped for. 

He deeply respects me, inspires me to be  the best version of myself and is never intimidated by my opinionated, passionate and independent nature. He's my best friend, biggest supporter and I never have to take the bins out (#winning).

I also feel validated in knowing that the shall-not-be-named floggy frogs I invested time in before finding Prince Charming were actually worth every moment of the post relationship self-doubt and self-loathing because they showed me what I DIDN'T want in a person. 

In the past few years I've also discovered that a huge part of life is about choosing your battles; about knowing when to say f*************k and when to say f**k it. It's been a transcendental discovery and if I could, I'd go back five years and tell littler Little Miss Lou Who to calm her farm and get on with it. I couldn't even tell you what 99.83% of my stresses were back then...so clearly they weren't even remotely worth the energy.

 

Another thing I've acknowledged since getting older is how much more I empathise with my parents; how I'm better able to understand their perspective on the world and place greater value in all the little moments with them.

I'm also not THAT far away from bringing my own squalling, pooping, entirely dependant tiny human into the world. And holy shit, it's a confronting thought but in the last few years, I feel like I could actually manage it quite well and without choosing to buy myself shoes over their nappies/baby clothing/vaccinations (which would condemn mini spawn to a therapy-riddled adolescence and the archaic potential to contract measles). 

I must say though, I am a lot more tired now, 40. Sleep has taken priority over those "just one more drink" Saturday nights (i.e. four hours and a three day hangover later) and my ankles and knees pop with greater frequency than before. There are also lines near my eyes and creases on my forehead (totally self inflicted - my mother did warn me about furrowing), but somehow I feel more comfortable in my face than ever before.

In conclusion, I certainly thought 30 would be much more frightening than it is, 40. When I was 21, it seemed to me that 30 meant being a grown up; responsible and settled and boring. And it is all those things. BUT...I've found that you also don't lose the essence of your youth; it continually evolves of course, but it's still there and I think it always will be.

So just remember that, 40. You may be older but don't forget that deep down, inside, you're the same girl you always were and always will be. Time and age won't wear that away unless you let it.

I'll see you in 10.

Peaceful and calm(er),

30

Don't shut up. Use your voice. Be loud.

“I would rather die standing than live on my knees.” - Stéphane Charbonnier, editor of Charlie Hebdo

The world has well and truly gone to shit.

Once upon a time, sticks and stones may break your bones but words could never hurt you (I've previously written a whole post on such things).

Well at least never to the point where you fell off the precipice of rational human behaviour into a pit of cray cray, which saw you storming the offices of a satire magazine armed with Kalashnikovs and a rocket-launcher and the sole intent to brutally rob innocent people of their lives just because you didn’t like what they said about you.

But tragically, that is precisely what happened in Paris on Wednesday, 7 January 2015 around 11:30am. 

My first reaction when I awoke to the dreadful and heartbreaking news about the terrorist attack on the Charlie Hebdo offices (and subsequently the indirect assault on one’s rights to express their thoughts and opinions without being inflicted with such permanent adverse consequence) was a jumble of horror, devastation and sadness. 

But then came a subliminal tinge of jaded resignation within the deepest recesses of my emotional clusterfuck because lately these inhumane, unfathomable events seem to be occurring as often as they don’t.

And then once I had processed all those tumultuous thoughts and feelings together, I began to get really mad...

When did exercising your freedom of speech (which should be a basic human right for everyone, everywhere) become an excuse for another person to murder you because they don't agree with your perspective on a topic or issue? And even worse, to cower behind a perverse veil of religion to "justify" doing so?

Voltaire once said, "I do not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to the death your right to say it". 

And there has never been a time where this sentiment so desperately needs to be embraced and applied to every conversation, no matter how shallow or complex; whether it’s contesting politics, religion, societal ‘norms’ or debating whether Calvin Klein has irreversibly destroyed its brand by instating Justin Bieber as the new face of its denim and undies.

You should be able to put your two cents, five cents, ten dollars in without fearing for your life.

I have a profound love for words and I am frequently awed by the power they have to hurt, heal, help or herald the power of love and compassion; the way they can shatter silence and inspire change, encourage revolution and denounce injustice. 

It breaks my heart that the writers at Charlie Hebdo were fatally punished for using their words to communicate what they believed in and how they saw the world. I have such respect for their courage of convictions; despite years of death threats (and previous attempts on their lives) they never resigned to being quiet just because it was easier, safer or more socially "acceptable".

They held strong and fierce to their words and stood by them to the end.

When I first sat down to write this post, I thought I was going to take the thematic path towards not being sure I want to birth babies into a global existence filled with such uncertainty, dread and evil.

But now I’ve changed my own mind. 

Self-imposed, non-reproduction is the worst thing I could do.

Because what the world needs now is more loud voices; voices that chatter and project words of goodness and hope and positivity…voices that won’t be shut up by those who can only murmur vitriol and violence.

It's our responsibility to at least give the next generation a chance to make their mark on this world and see how far their collective voices can carry.

And we all know that any kid of mine will have plenty to say.

My thoughts are with the Charlie Hebdo writers and law enforcement officers whose lives were tragically and unfairly taken yesterday and I send my deepest condolences and sympathies to their family, friends and every person affected by this horrific event. I cannot even fathom your pain or loss. 

How PR can be like learning to hike in a pair of heels

How PR is like learning to hike in a pair of heels

I’m not sure about the rest of you but when I chose the PR path, I was under the (false) impression that it was going to be cobbled with fancy pants parties, a whole bunch of freebies from luxury clients and an income that would mean Dior and Dolce would immediately become mere staples in a wardrobe decked out in designer threads.

Well, suffice to say, I was quickly shaken out of the Tree of Grandeur Illusion, thrust onto the road to reality and sent on my merry way.

During the time I’ve spent in the PR industry, I find myself at times likening it to what one could fathom it’s like learning to hike in a pair of heels; the journey has had its metaphorical moments of teetering, toppling and twisting ankles but you’re still always able to find a way to stand up, brush yourself off and continue to strut to the peak like a boss.

Both take some time to get used to

PR and hiking in heels are two things that can’t be solely taught from a textbook. It’s not like mathematics where 1+1 always equals two. So much of the skills required to achieve success can only be acquired by learning on your feet (pun totally intended) as you go. There will be moments where you’ll wonder why you thought it was worth it, but then a switch will flip and you won’t remember how you ever felt like it was anything less than second nature.

Both can (and will) be painful at some stage

During the journey, you will occasionally stumble upon instances that are more demanding or challenging than others. You may want to cry or quit or curl up with a tub of ice cream and host a one-person pity party but your survival instincts will kick in and you’ll fight through whatever ailment is troubling you, be it burn out or blisters. So grit your teeth, smack a smile on your dial and keep on keeping on; you’ll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 Both will see you fall into a couple of pits and potholes

Falling on your face at some stage is a given but it’s about how you react to the stack that matters; you can either bounce up or break down. As the Japanese proverb goes, “fall seven times, get up eight times.” Use mistakes and stumbling blocks to better learn how to navigate around potential hazards and more successfully mitigate similar risks in the road. Because, trust me, you won’t topple down the same ditch twice.

 Both will toughen you up and test your resolve

Developing true character, compassion and genuine appreciation for success (and for life in general) doesn’t come from easy wins or by triumphing in a one-man race; they come from being pushed to your absolute limits and prevailing even though it sometimes seemed like everything was against you. If people tell you your dreams or ideas are impossible to achieve, go drink a cup of concrete (figuratively speaking, of course), harden your resolve and just prove them wrong.  Not only will they appreciate your tenacity; they outcome will be nothing but beneficial to your own development. 

Both will make success seem sweeter than you could ever have predicted

When you land that massive account you’ve put your entire soul into winning or you secure a game-changing chunk of coverage for a client, every single second you put into reaching that pinnacle will be worth its weight in positivity, pride and praise. You may be exhausted to the point of delirium but you will find whatever small speck of energy remains to kick up those same heels you’ve learnt how to hike up hills in so damn well.

For the Love of Consignment

Ok, ok; I’ll admit it. I’m a fashion disciple. In my Bible (aka Vogue), JC stands for Jimmy Choo not Jesus Christ (please pardon the blasphemy).

However, when I voluntarily flung myself out of the proverbial nest last year, my relationship with shopping went through a brutal transition and was no longer classified as priority numero uno; apparently becoming a "fully functional" adult meant putting shelter before shoes and food before frocks (I know, I know…what a drag). 

As my dejected compulsive spending tendencies wept by the wayside, it was a wake up call that was warmly welcomed by my credit card.

But as I sat there sadly contemplating a life in which I had less shoes and more money in savings, the fighting instinct in me kicked in. I would not be defeated or dictated by my limited disposable income. I would find a way to get what I wanted without putting myself on the Repo Squad's radar or having to beg for frivolity funds from the Bank of Daddy.

And then the light bulb moment came.

Off course!

The female-friendly 'C' word!

CONSIGNMENT.

And I'm not talking thrift or op shopping.

I'm talking upscale, on trend resale shopping that will not break the bank. Whoop whoop!

I'm talking more specifically about Red Finch Boutique.

Red Finch is a beautiful boutique, located in Melbourne's north eastern suburb of Eltham, where women can buy new and '2nd flight' designer and top label fashions at an affordable price.

Alex Perry. Ruth Tarvydas. Alannah Hill. Sass&Bide. Zimmerman. Jayson Brunsden. Miu Miu. 

Oh the list goes on and on and it won't lead you into the poor house.

One of my favourite Red Finch purchases...it came with the tags still on it, 70% off the ticketed price

Red Finch Boutique also stocks new lines including Spencer & Rutherford (which is always sold below RRP), Sassy Duck accessories and Shanghai freshwater pearls.

Spencer & Rutherford

The shop also supports and nurtures budding creative talent by showcasing both an aspiring jeweller and a fashion designer at any given time - in store now are Flourish Jewellery and The Gorjess Closet.

Flourish Jewellery and The Gorjess Closet

Don't live close enough to pop in and shop? No worries!


You can visit Red Finch Boutique's eBay store - they ship domestically and internationally. Genius!

And for all you new mothers out there, there will be a new segment of the boutique launching in store SOON called "Red Finch Nest". I've had a sneak peak of the teeny tiny baby adorableness that will be available to buy for bubs (all new lines) and let me tell you, it's where I'll be getting all my infant offerings from for friends who pop out new little people.

From a positive community support perspective, Red Finch Boutique is a strong advocate of the Breast Cancer Network Australia and the shop raises funds for the organisation by hosting various charity events throughout the year.

"Spring Into Racing" (BCNA fundraiser)

Red Finch Boutique will be moving to a new shop front this month (40 Commercial Place, Eltham 3095) and to celebrate the very exciting transition, I have a gorgeous gift pack to GIVEAWAY to one lucky reader.

A new nest for Red Finch Boutique

Valued at $284, the goodies will be packed in a stunning Spencer & Rutherford tote bag and include:

- a Champagne Popper
- a strand of freshwater pearls
- freshwater pearl earrings
- a Sassy Duck pashmina scarf
- a Red Finch traveller coffee cup

If you would like the chance to win all this, all you have to do is "like" Little Miss Lou Who and Red Finch Boutique on Facebook and then in the comments below this post, tell me what is your greatest bargain buy and why.

The winner will be selected on Monday, 17 March with the final decision being based solely on creativity of their response.

Good luck!