My off Switch is broken...or at least tampered with.

You know those people whose metaphorical lights are all but out in pratical unison with their bedside lamp? Whose head is already submerged in dreams before it hits the downy fluff of their pillow? 

I know you know one of those people...because you either are one or you inadvertently despise them because those people have a brain that acknowledges it needs to shut up and sleep sometimes.

For me it's a case of mind over matter...matter being the fact that my physical being can be on the precipice of narcoleptic collapse but my neurons are jacked up and firing at an abnormally fast paced rate for 11pm at night (or anytime of the day, now that I think about it) and sleep is an epic challenge.

I've always had a vividly active imagination and I am an intensely realistic dreamer- often times I will have trouble recalling if certain memories are attached to my waking hours or if they were simulated in an unconscious state of zzzz's and retained in the neverending backlog of stuff that gets shoved into those hazy recesses.

When I was at Uni, I underwent hypnosis for my insomniac tendencies and I have had PLENTY of CBT over hmmm 10 years to try to change my thought processes so that they are able to ebb me into relaxation and take me gently off to sleep.

It sounds like it's pretty straightforward right? And in theory it most certainly is. 

But in practice, it is ridiculously difficult for me to do...lingering almost in impossible territory.

My peacefully envisioned place starts with me lounging on a beach, listening to the waves slide across the shore in time with my heartbeat. 

Then before I know it, my head is successfully in Hawaii. 

Which is pure bliss.

For about 3.7 seconds.

Because then I start realising how much I want another holiday. 

Which makes me realise I really need to be better with my savings. 

Which starts making me think about all the money I've spent the past month, especially on outfits for Spring Racing Carnival.

Which makes me start thinking about Derby Day in 10 days time.

How am I going to do my hair? It needs to flatter my fascinator...

What about my make up? Red lips make the most sense but they are high bloody maintenance and impossible to do after knocking back a few champers.

But if I don't do red lips, what do I do?

And just like that...in about 20 seconds flat...I've gone from relaxation to Revlon...

It takes so much effort for me to find a peaceful place in my head that it starts to have the opposite effect one would desire.

I start getting stressed out about not being able to switch off.

And then, after I've almost lost hope and as my eyes are shutting and my body is lulling itself towards sleep...

The cat starts flinging herself at my cupboard doors like a banchee on crack and I'm back to square one.

Typical.